Ep. 05: What I Learned After My Failed Launch

In business, if you're willing to look at your losses as points of data, not make it mean anything about you, and see what wisdom is there for you to learn from, you're behaving like a leader.

I was fired up to talk about my recent failed launch so that you can learn from my mistakes. 

Transcript

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Hello, hello, and welcome back to the In Your Bones podcast. This is gonna be such a juicy episode because in this episode I'm talking all about my failed launch and everything that I can now see after taking the action. And honestly, some of the things I did, I was like, oh my God, I can't believe that's the mistake I was making. Because as a copywriter, as someone who has helped other people behind the scenes in their business, I would have advised them to have done it the way that I know it should not, not should. I don't like using the word should in business, but the way that I know is the most successful way to get it done. And. The thing is, is when I was in it, I was losing some of that clarity and for the reasons I'll go over and, and later on in this podcast. But you kind of, when you're doing something for yourself in your own business, there can be this tendency to forget the rules that you already know of the game that you're playing. And that's what I suffered from. There was this tendency to like want to do it another way. It was a tendency, I guess I'm a rebel at heart, honestly, so I kind of like wanna push boundaries, but it was a tendency to like honestly try to find the path of least resistance if I'm being really truthful to it, like about it. And that is not what business is about and I know that. I know that, and towards the end of the launch, it felt like there was something that I knew was off and it stopped me from wanting to even promote it anymore because internally I knew that it was just, it didn't start off right. So I'm gonna share all about that in a second, actually let me circle back. 'cause most of us can feel when something is off in our business, like most of us can feel the inkling that we need to be posting more. We need to be talking about our offers more. We need to be sharing more. But then there's this internal battle that goes on that feels really uncomfortable of like, okay, I know I need to be showing up more, but like, how do I show up more? Oh, I know I need to be showing, like having. A certain kind of messaging, but how, oh, I know I need to be posting, you know, camera reels, but it feels really uncomfortable, and all of that. All of that. Like if you're asking yourself how, if you're, if you're trying to avoid uncomfortability, which was what I was doing by the way, like it tends to put you out. Of alignment, not, I, I hate to use the word alignment, but it, it's really the word that's coming to my mind here. It tends to put you out of alignment with the path that you need to be on because over and over and over again, I've learned the hard fucking way that being a business owner means going full force into the resistance, going full force into feeling uncomfortable and facing. Potential judgment, going full force and doing the hard thing even when no one is cheering you on, going full force and facing your doubts and looking at them right in the face and saying, no, bitch, I'm not listening to you today, and I am charging on anyway. That right there is the stuff that separates the great entrepreneurs from the good ones. And that is what I've been actively working on within myself over the past year. Like can I create enough internal space for me to feel self-doubt and still move anyway? And can I create enough internal space to face the projections, the judgments that other people have about me that aren't even about me Anyway, honestly, people's judgments are about them. It's about who they think they are and like how dare you go after your dreams when. I don't have the courage to do that. How dare you say something on social media when I don't have the courage to post a picture on social media. How dare you talk about your business and sell your genius, because I don't feel like I have something to offer the world. I mean, literally that is what underneath people's judgment of you. So, and because it's always gonna be someone who has never walked this path, it's always gonna be someone who hasn't gone as far as you've gone. Uh, no one who is more successful than you will ever judge you for trying, right? So you, as soon as that's locked into your mind, then you won't care. When someone who has never been where you're trying to go has something to say about it and I'll share. I first became an entrepreneur in 2021, and that was not my mindset. I completely had a different mindset. I was so afraid of judgment. I was. So afraid of my own self doubt. I was so afraid of the fears that I felt when I was posting about anything. Maybe even just a picture of myself on Facebook, so I understand what it feels like to be overcome with all of that. And I did not know that, that the internal work was what held me back for so long. Like I thought it was genuinely something that was wrong with me. But I'll tell you, in 2021, I started offering online wine tasting bookings 'cause I was a sommelier for so long and. I only booked two total bookings and they were through my sister, and it was all because I didn't have the. Let's call it strength. Let's call it courage, to consistently talk about my business in a way that made someone understand, oh my God, she gets it. Like I knew a shit ton about wine. I knew a shit ton about how to pair wine with food, but I couldn't convince someone that I knew it because I couldn't stand in front of a camera and talk about it in a way that was consistent. And then after that I started working as a social media manager. I was like, okay, maybe it's not the sommelier thing for me. Maybe there's something else out there. And I started contracting through a social media company that my friend owned, and I was making $4 a caption, and I was completely hooked. I was so happy. I was like, I get to work from home. I get to control how. I spend my time, I get to work on my freaking laptop. I get to go on a walk whenever I damn well, please. It was, I was hooked on being an entrepreneur instantly, but I wasn't making any money, so I was like, alright, let's go. Let's see how far I can take this thing. And at the time I thought building a business was about just following a set of steps, just knowing the right strategy and that's a part of it. Sure. But I thought that was the full picture. So that's what I initially went after. At the end of one of the years that I worked for that social media company, I got a bonus and I spent all of it plus more on a copywriting course. And it was one of those copywriting courses that promised you could quit your job and start living the dream life in six months. And it had all these testimonials of. Essentially what was the top 1% of people who ever took that course and what they were doing now and how much money they were spending and, and how they were thriving. And I wanna say that's how a lot of stuff is marketed. Like, Hey, just follow this set of steps and you can have your dream life. And it's always, always, always, when it comes down to entrepreneurship going to be yes, following a set of steps and how. How can you make yourself move even when you feel self-doubt and fear and judgment. So all of that comes down to like mindset work, nervous system, regulation work, and pure fucking grit of like, this is what I wanna do and I want this more than anything. And I know that I have something to offer the world. 'cause I know you do. I know you have something that is so fucking valuable for the world to receive. And I know you know that. And there can also be just this other shit going on in your head where it's like, well, what about this? And what about that? And you kind of get sidetracked on like these loops of, of like never ending. Well what, what font should I use for my Canva posts and what is she saying on her social media posts? And there's like these fucking loops that you can go on that will distract you and take you away from. The task you should be doing, and how do I know? Because that was me for years. So I took that copywriting course. There was nothing wrong with the course, but once again, it just showed me the steps to setting up my copywriting business. It did have like a small segment in the beginning, glancing over mindset, but I. Didn't fully understand the weight of, okay, this is going to take me running as fast as I can past my own fears and choosing to do the hard thing over and over and over again. Because in the years to come, I kept waiting for entrepreneurship to feel. Easier. I kept waiting for myself to feel readier. I kept waiting for some day in which I would feel less of the friction and the resistance. And yes, there are things you can do that have helped me overcome the weight that I feel of other people's judgments. I'm not saying there's not, but there will never come a day when you do not feel fear. Taking action and going after your dreams because if it wasn't so scary, if it wasn't so hard, everybody would be doing it. And this is a game of how can you overcome yourself over and over and over again. And still show up the next day. You have to have this deep fucking love for it. And I know you do. I know you do. Or you wouldn't be listening to this. You have to keep going. And, and like, like for me, my driving force is like, I wanna see. How good it can get. Yes. But I wanna see how fully developed I can be as a human. Like I know I'm only scratching at at the tip of the iceberg of my potential. And I wanna see, I wanna live a life where I step into my full potential and I want to keep going after the next. Step because every time I've ever gone and done the hard thing, I've become the person who then feels like I can do the hard thing again. And yes, it's fucking hard, but I get such a thrill from looking back and being like, oh my God, I did something that was hard. I did something that made me scared and I did it anyway. You know, that's like the fucking thrill of life. And I think the whole entrepreneurialship game is about how fast you can. Do it the next time. How fast can you recover from the disappointment when you fail? How little can you pay attention to other people's judgment of you? How many times can you fail without it meaning anything about you? And fully knowing that each time you fail, you're getting one step closer to what it is that you need to be doing to actually succeed? And how many times can you experience self-doubt and still keep going? Like that is at the fucking core of everyone's success story, whether they're talking about it or not, whether that's the words that they use or not, whether they're showing you on their social media highlight reel or not. That is absolutely it. And we're gonna talk about my failed lodge in a second. I'll go over that. But I just wanna admire you if you're in this fucking game at all, in any capacity, because it takes a real fucking psycho to keep doing this. It takes a real stick up your ass to keep going. It takes a real internal knowing that I'm made for this life and I won't stop until I figure it out. That's how I fucking feel. I will not stop. And there's moments, trust me, there's moments where I'm like, I don't know if I can keep going. And then I get like that. I'm just like, what the fuck? That's not it. That's, that's not the vibe. And I get that next push of like, I. Can't stop here. I have crawled every single inch of the way here. And whether that progress like shows in my bank account yet or not, like I've made some money, I've had 5K, I've had a 5K month and I've had, you know, successful months. Um, but. Like, it, it, it, it ebbs, it flows there. There's moments when I'm like, I got it. And then there's moments where I'm like, I don't got it. And it all comes down to how bad do you wanna keep showing up for it? And did you put all the work that you've put into it until now to just fucking stop Now, are you going to. Decide that you're like a puddle now, or are you gonna decide that you're stronger than you've ever been? You're more resilient than you've ever been. You have more resources under your tool belt because you've failed more times than the person who's just starting their business today. And. You, you have what it takes to keep going, like it's a fucking decision. And all of this was never told to me when I first started back in 2021. You know, I thought it was just, okay. Do steps one, do steps two do steps. Three, it'll just happen. You do it, you take the next step and then it'll just happen for you. And it's not. It's like, how badly can you embody the fact that you're here to fucking do this? How badly can you talk about or not badly? How much can you talk about what it is that you have to offer to the world in a way that is undeniable? Like, it's just, that's what it fucking is. And in order to to like be your biggest cheerleader and to root yourself on every step of the way, you have to know in your full body that you have something to offer and that you will not quit. And so eventually looping back to my copywriting, uh, few. So writing, um. Circling back. After taking that initial copywriting course, I purchased several other copywriting courses and a year and a half later I did hit that 5K month in my business. I did it while having a contract. Uh, I did it by having a client who hired me for a big copywriting package, and at the same time, I was contracting for another marketing agency behind the scenes. And that marketing agency, it's a different one than the social media company I started with. I got to work behind the scenes, uh, with six and seven figure entrepreneurs, and I got to see firsthand how things worked out for them. And honestly, I need to create a whole other podcast about that because there's definitely a thread that I found running underneath all six and seven figure business owners. And just to give you like a little peek, they, they work fucking hard and they are willing to try things. They're willing to fuck around and find out. And when I made my 5K month, that was great. I was so proud of myself, but I was also working so fucking hard, like working myself to the bone. And I do think. Entrepreneurship is about working hard, and I can look back on that month and I can say that I was working hard on the wrong things because we have a way, I have a way humans have this way of making things harder than they need to be Sometimes like. When you're starting your business, how simple can you make it be? How simple can you make that initial funnel, that initial like infrastructure of your business so that you can then build on it as you go? But I was not in that mindset. I was overthinking everything. I was making moves slowly. I was indecisive and I was wondering if I. Was even cut out for it. And if I was somebody who was just always going to be doing the wrong things, like I had all these thoughts in my head that like, I need to be looking at someone else's posts and doing things their way. I need to. Have the right font. I need to have the right graphics. I need to say the right things in all the right orders. There's a lot of advice out there. A lot. And if you scroll Instagram, you'll see so much noise. Use this hook. No use this hook. No speak to pain points. No speak to your authority. No offer value. Don't offer value. Care about what you're wearing. Don't care about what you're wearing. Speak in a certain way, say what's on your mind. All of that can get in your head, and it certainly did for me. But now, four years into it. I have a much clearer picture on exactly what I need to be doing and exactly what I need to be listening to. And I can see that all the ways that I was running towards dead ends and thinking I was making progress, and I was like hyper-focused on fixing things and I was obsessing about things and. Mostly underneath that, I just wanted to avoid showing up, making myself seen, and doing the fucking hard thing of pushing past my fear over and over and over again. I was waiting to feel ready. I was waiting to reach a point when I would doubt myself less and I was waiting for it to feel easier. And there have absolutely been days where I've felt a rush of energy, where I've felt less doubt, where I've been able to have a shift in my perspective and like tell myself, do you even know how lucky you are to be able to keep going like this? Like I realize that on some days, and I feel extra energy on certain days. And I've done a whole bunch of work with subconscious reprogramming that has helped me tremendously. There are absolutely tools out there that can help you, you know, melt away the weight of certain things that have happened in your life, and that was key for me to be the person that's standing on this side of the microphone right now. But the point was never for it to be easy. The point was never for me to not feel any fear. If it was, everybody would be making boatloads of cash. The point is to be able to move even when it's hard to not get lost in the overthinking, to not get lost in the overdoing and to zero in with intention on your end goal, and to go after it with your whole entire being. That's where the rush that we all love. Comes from, it's the rush that when I go after something that's really fucking hard and I do it anyway, and I prove to myself that I'm not a weak ass bitch, oh my God, that is the fucking feeling, the best feeling in the world. So here's what I learned from my failed launch because. I know that you have a world changing vision. I know you're here to make an impact. I know you have this internal drive that just won't leave you alone, so listen up so you don't make the same mistakes. I did. So number one, I was speaking to who I thought was out there instead of being so fucking clear on who I'm here to help. So I was speaking to like the masses, like, let me just try to speak to everybody who's currently following me on Instagram right now. And that's not who I'm actually here to help. For Mo, for most people, as entrepreneurs, we're actually here to help a version of us that's like 10 steps behind us. So I'm here to help women who feel. Passionate about their business, who know they're here to build something fucking colossal, but they're still stuck in the cycle of overthinking, indecision, constantly fixing analysis paralysis that keeps them from actually showing up online and speaking to who they serve. And none of my posts were communicating that correctly. I wasn't talking to my ideal client at all. I wasn't talking to the version of me. 10 steps be behind me at all. My posts up until now was just speaking to everyone, like I said, and when you're speaking to everyone you're speaking to, no one, no one can see themselves in what you're saying. If you make everything too broad, and I understand why I was doing it looking back, like I just wanted to be able to offer it to everyone. I know that RRT is. Which is the subconscious reprogramming is a modality that can help everyone, but that is not who I am here to serve at the end of the day, right? There's that distinction of like, who, what actually lights me up? Who do I actually wanna be talking to? Who do I want to be on the other side of my computer screen? Listening to me as I'm helping them build something that they're healed here to build. That's the energy that hard. Let, I need to let myself actually go after what it is that I want and actually close the door to be okay with me not being for everybody. The second thing is my energy, when I was creating every post, was so focused on how do I get likes and responses versus. How do I show up and serve and say the fucking thing that would have made a difference to a previous version of me? How do I say something that can get someone outta the pothole? They're stuck in, how can I write something that makes another entrepreneur out there say, oh my God, you too. I thought that was just me because. I tell you something, for so long, the problems I was facing starting out in my business felt really isolating. Like everyone else seems to be having a great time building their business, and I'm over here drowning. And I've even contributed to that with my posts. And to me, it's fucking exhausting to think about, okay, what font should I use or how do I say it so I get likes? Or how can I say it in the best way? And I'm just now leaning into the energy of, let me just say what's on my mind. Let me share exactly what I've experienced and what has happened to me. Let me share what I've learned and whoever benefits great. Who whoever doesn't also great. You're not my person. You're not who I'm here to help. I'm not here to help everyone. I'm here to do it. That way, I'm here to talk about my experience and to be fucking honest, I'm here to be brave enough to actually put my whole heart into something. Let it be smashed to pieces if that's what happens. But at least I know that I gave it my all wanting to serve the people who are listening to me, who are reading my posts instead of what can I do to get a reaction from someone. It's such a different energy, like I wanna be here at the end of the day, we're all here to serve. We're all here to help create the world that we want to create. And that has to be done with the energy of, let me give what I feel like I needed back then. With no expectations, you have to, there's this like line, you have to walk as an entrepreneur, as you're creating content, creating content with intention. Yes, full intention, paying attention to how, like paying attention to the overall message that you wanna say, but then pressing that post button and having no expectations. How it's received. Once you've pressed the post button, you've done your job. You cannot micromanage and control the way that your stuff gets received. That's exhausting. That's like trying to play Monopoly and playing your little side of the Monopoly game, and then also trying to play the other people's sides of the Monopoly game. It's not fun. You get to instead just play your part, play your part well, and then send it out into the universe. And I, I, I've listened to so many fucking podcasts at this point of other entrepreneurs, and they'll tell you they post shit all of the time. That doesn't get received. Well that doesn't get, you know, hundreds of likes and then you move on, you make the next post. Which leads me to my next point. I get to be the biggest fucking cheerleader for my offers. I absolutely know the power behind what I offer behind the RRT process. I know that the years that I've been. Like creating this business and all of the mistakes that I've made and all of the lessons that I've learned and all of the businesses that I've helped behind the scenes, all of that leads to someone sitting in front of you who, who like is undeniably here to help other entrepreneurs like not make the same mistakes I did. And this launch did not reflect that. I couldn't energetically be fully rah, rah, rah because I felt something was off at the start and it, what was off was the first two points I mentioned. When you know exactly who you're talking to, when you know exactly how you help them, when you know exactly what you have to offer. And what you have to offer is so valuable because you put your blood, sweat, and tears into it. That is the fucking gold ticket. I know it because I feel that truth inside of me. I know it because I'm able to sit here on the other side of this microphone and tell you undeniably that it's just, it's just I, I, you could not tell me otherwise. That what I have to offer isn't valuable, but I also have to be doing it in a way that feels like I'm doing it to serve and like I'm doing it in a way that feels true for me. I'm not just trying to fit, fit myself into some. Prescribed box of like, only show this side of you, or only do these things or follow these steps. That worked for me at this moment in time. I mean, so much strategy is just one person sharing what worked for them at one point in time, and that's great. It's great to have that information and also if you're doing something based on someone else's success and it doesn't feel right for you, it's not gonna go well. Ultimately, you take someone else's information, you use it as a guide. You follow the steps. If they feel right for you, or you choose another path, or you have someone helping you, guiding you, helping you extract that information from you, like what actually feels true for you. Sometimes you need someone else to bounce those ideas off of. And I know that when I've done my best fucking work, it's because the three things that I just talked about have lined up and I'm able to show up and either write from that truth or speak from that truth. I also wanna say that like experiencing the launch this way was a gut punch. I'm not going to sugarcoat it. I had trouble sleeping last night. I had trouble getting outta bed this morning, but. I'm not going to let one failure mean anything more than just data for me to look back on. I get to lean on that perspective. It's just data. It's just data. It's just data telling my mind over and over again that it doesn't mean that I can't be successful just because I experienced failure. In fact, it just means that the way I was doing it won't bring me success and that I get to try another way. And honestly, the mistakes I was making, like were kind of elementary. Like, I wouldn't have let someone else that I was working with make those mistakes. I'm like, what the fuck was I thinking? I would have been able to point that out to someone else in a fucking heartbeat. But we can get lost in the sauce. We can get lost in the sauce of our own business. It's it you're like in the tornado and you don't have you, you're not in the eye of the storm. You're being world up by the tornado and sometimes. You don't have the clarity that someone else has from the outside looking in because you are in it. It's like trying to read a book that's like on your face. You can't read a book that's on your face. Sometimes you need someone else to help you like read that book that's like away from your face. So for me, I just knew that I wanted to focus on putting one foot in front of the other and. Uh, honestly, that that's still experience. It's still something I get to look back on and it, it, it's not, how should I say it? It just is experience. I get to look back, I get to say it, I did it this way, and now I get to choose a different way. And I got on a call yesterday with a fellow entrepreneur, with a, with another entrepreneur. And that call helped me see what I needed to see. And yeah, it stung a little bit. I remember getting off the call and I remember talking to my husband and I was like, oh, sometimes it hurts to hear the truth. 'cause I was like, give me the truth. Give it to me straight. Like let's go deep. I was like, don't sugarcoat it for me. I think sometimes we can do each other a disservice by trying to sugarcoat something when what we actually need is the truth of something. You know, like if we are not dealing with the truth, the truth, the truth, then we're getting distracted by something else that isn't the truth. So I appreciate, like, I truly, truly appreciate, I've never been someone who can sugarcoat. I've never been someone who can dance around the thing. I'm someone who. Loves honesty and loves directness. That's just how I operate. I've tried to fight it for so long and I'm done fucking fighting it. Give it to me straight and I wanna give it to you straight because when we give it to each other straight, then we know exactly what we can tweak, and I want to know. What to tweak so that I don't continue making the same mistakes and that I honestly know better not to fucking do. So yeah, I was lost in the minutiae. I was overlooking what it is that I fucking know, and that's kind of why business will always be a taking action game the more you take action. The more clarity you will have, the more shots you take, the more you know how to take the shot. And now I have four fucking years of taking shots and it's been such a slow burn. And honestly for me, that's how it needed to happen. I had a lot of nervous system regulation, uh, inner work to do. And I don't fucking spend time thinking about, well, I wonder if it could have gone a different way because I can't change it. All I know is that this is where I'm at at this moment, and all I can change is how I show up now. And here's what I know about you. You have so much fucking passion for what you do. You're honestly so good at it. You have this internal drive to grow your business. And like so many of us, like that internal drive just won't leave us alone. It's like in the back of our mind, it's in the, we're always thinking about our business. We're always thinking about how we can help it grow and it won't stop. And like you're, you, it just, I, I can't settle. Just like I know you can't for like a half lived life where you're not going after the things that light you up and. For me, I don't mind anymore. Working hard to get there now. I just want to like for so long. I think I avoided the idea of it's just gonna be so hard. I don't know, I don't even know if hard is the right word. 'cause it to it, to me it's like, it's dedication, it's the pursuit of excellence. And those things kind of sound a little like, uh, cliche, but that's what it is. And I've lost sight about that. Like I've wanted it to feel flowy and easy. So, and so sometimes it does rarely. But I've lost sight of like the thrill of just accepting that it's going to take persistence, uh, the pursuit of it, um, pushing past fears and self-doubt, and that's how the game is won by doing the thing that scares you over and over again and looking back. The times I worked the hardest were the times that I saw the most results. And I want to work hard, yes, but I also don't wanna work hard by overthinking. I also don't wanna work hard going down rabbit holes. I wanna just work hard. Having that angle in mind end goal in mind, and like zeroing in on that and removing the distractions. Because like I know what it's like to sit at your desk panicking and overthinking and looking at what the competition is doing, and that shit like steals your energy. And I didn't realize that while I was doing it. It felt like that was the work. It felt like looking at fonts was the work. It felt like looking at competition like people in my industry was the work and. It's not, it's like doubling down on who you know yourself to be. And so that's the kind of like energy that I'm walking into 2026 with. And I don't know if you can feel it, but I'm so fucking pumped. Like I just wanna double down on this and I know it's going to be. Um, you know, a, a journey of not letting the shiny shit get in the way of like all of the other people's posts that are claiming that they have found the way that feels the easiest. That shit is like bullshit. Yes. Like I said, there are ways to help strengthen your inner ability to like know that you can do the hard thing. Yes. But it's never going to feel easy. Yes, there are gonna be days when you feel pulled towards it, but those are just like little blips on the radar, and the more that you can expect it to just be this marathon that you're gonna run. I think the easier it is to run that marathon because you're not resisting the fact that it's a fucking marathon. And I think for so long that's where I was. I was resisting that it's going to be this marathon. I wanted it to be a a hundred yard dash, but. I'm going back to like the fucking basics, which is make it as simple as possible to start out with. Build from there, show up consistently on social media. Talk about your shit like you're the fucking phenomenal, badass business owner that you fucking are. That's the ticket, that's the secret sauce. And it takes, you know, it takes everything you've got. But I also know that the feeling of not reaching your full potential also takes everything you got. And it's, that's also scary. So there's no win except to just fucking do the thing and. Doing the thing gives you that. Oh my God, I took the leap. Oh my God, I'm doing it. Oh my God. I overcame my self doubt. Oh my God, I, I did the scary thing. And every time you do, you build more and more momentum to where you're going. And I know you have so much to offer the world. I know how amazing you are. I know you deserve to see it all work out for you. And I know you're good at what you do, and it's just about overcoming the tendency to withhold and to hide and to step into the spotlight one fucking step at a time. I don't care if you're taking small steps because I sure as hell did, but take the steps. Do the thing. Let people know you exist. Alright, that is it for now, and if this served you, do me a favor and give this podcast five stars. I'm building a whole ass movement here and I know other entrepreneurs would benefit from this. Alright, I love you. See you in the next episode. Bye.